Thanks Christie!

Another post about awesome family members finding the perfect thing I've been searching for and buying it for me!

We've been looking for a cute, affordable, solid-wood rocking horse for Sara for a while now. I had basically given up after not wanting to spend upwards of sixty bucks on one of the only ones I found that I thought was cute. But then I got a call from Rob's sister saying she found one at a local thrift store for only $2. Then later I found out she talked them down to $1 because it was a little wobbly (just needed to tighten the screws). After hearing this, I was a little uncertain about how it would look, but I was so pleasantly surprised when we went to pick it up. Check it out!

  {only $1 from D.I. Seriously.)

Can you believe what a steal this was?! Especially considering I was at one point willing to spend $70 on this strikingly similar rocking horse?

{$70 from Amazon}

Hmmm, glad I talked myself out of making that purchase!

Oh, and Sara loves it by the way. It is just the right size for her.

Thanks again Christie!!

Gabba Friends!

Guess what showed up in the mail a few weeks ago?!

Gabba friends from Grandma!!

Remember this post when I talked about wanting some plush Gabba toys for Sara, but the only ones I could find were way too expensive? Well my mom took it upon herself to find some reasonably priced Gabba merchandise, and she came across these perfect little stuffed figures!

Here's a video of Sara's reaction upon opening them.

Remember the Lego Gabba friends we made? Here are side-by-side comparisons of Sara's new "official" Gabba friends next to her old Lego ones.

The new Gabba friends average about 5 inches tall each (the tallest is 6", the shortest is 4"). They actually have these little clips attached to their heads that are meant to hang from a backpack or something.

At first I thought I would remove the clips so Sara would just have the little figures, but then I realized it would make them easier to carry with the clips still attached. Just slip each clip onto your fingers, and off you go! You can carry all 5 in one hand much easier that way. 

We actually use a little carabiner clip type thing to hold them all together which makes them even easier to tote around, and then Sara can remove them from the clip when she wants to play with them individually. Works perfect for taking them with us in the car or to a friend's house, etc. because they all stay together that way.

Thanks Grandma Christine! Sara LOVES her new Gabba friends!!

Sleep in Heavenly Peace

Wasn't my grandma a beauty? This photo was taken when she was about 18 years old, just before she married my grandpa. 

About five years ago my grandma was diagnosed with colon cancer. She opted for surgery at the time, and enjoyed four good cancer free years after that. Then in July of this year the cancer came back, but this time it had spread to her liver. She chose to do chemotherapy and started treatments about 5 months ago. With the exception of one major setback in August, she seemed to tolerate the chemo relatively well, and it even helped to reduce some of the symptoms she was having from the cancer. When we moved in with my Grandma toward the end of October, she was doing great! The only help she needed from us was mostly just preparing meals and taking care of the house, but she was still very independent with everything else (even with climbing and descending the stairs everyday! -- although I always tried to be right there with her on the stairs, just in case). 

On Friday, November 19, Grandma went in for the last scheduled round of a series of chemo treatments. The doctors and nurses warned her that this particular dose might make her mouth more sore give her more side effects than the previous treatments had. Well, they were right. As my aunt said in regards to this last chemo treatment, "You never know how much is too much until it is." Grandma's body just couldn't tolerate that last round of chemo, and after three weeks of sickness and other complications, Grandma passed away just before 9:00 AM Friday morning. 

It was hard to see my Grandma's health deteriorate so quickly during those last three weeks of her life. As I wrote on my extended family's website, "It really breaks my heart to see Grandma like this. I just want her to get better and be able to interact with us and her visitors, or I want her to be able to pass quickly with as little pain as possible. This in between stuff is so awful!"

Well, as it turns out, I guess I got my wish when I said "I want her to be able to pass quickly". I just hope the "with as little pain as possible" part was also true.

It is a strange experience to live with someone as they go through the dying process and to be with them when they pass away. Something I have never experienced before. Definitely something I will never forget.

I was in denial about my Grandma's condition and about just how close she was to death right up until the moment I went to check on her yesterday morning and found her not breathing. I think most of us were in denial about it. We all hoped she had more time; that she would make one more rebound (albeit a small one) before the cancer finally took her. I suppose wishing she could have stayed with us a little longer is a selfish request, but I miss her already.

I am so grateful for the the opportunity I had to live with Grandma Ruth and to be with her during the last few weeks of her life. She was a truly selfless woman and was always serving others, especially her family. I am so thankful I was able to give back just a tiny bit of all the love, service and sacrifice she has given to me and my family over the years. It is an experience I would never trade for anything else in the world. 

Finally, I want to share with you the following beautiful experience; the last moment I had with Grandma.

The night before my grandma passed, my Aunt Marie, her daughters Shannon and Karen, and my Mom were at the house with me. Shannon, Karen and I were sitting with Grandma in her room. Grandma had been mostly unresponsive since Sunday night, so we were just sitting on her bed, holding her hands, and talking to her or to each other. As we were sitting there, an almost overwhelming feeling came to me that I wanted to sing "Silent Night" to Grandma. I asked Karen and Shannon if they would sing with me. It wasn't until we reached the end of the first verse that the words finally hit us:

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

All three of us were overcome with emotion and could barely sing through the tears as we reached the words, "Sleep in heavenly peace". It was a very powerful moment. Marie and my mom joined us as we continued singing other hymns and children's Primary songs to her throughout the rest of the evening. I will never forget that sweet serenade we were able to give to Grandma on her last night here on earth. 

I love you Grandma.

FREE

Let me just say that if you have something you want to get rid of but don't want the hassle of loading it up and taking it to the nearest thrift store, all you gotta do is put it in the online classifieds under the FREE section! We wanted to get rid or sofa and first tried selling it online for $100. No bites. Then I switched it to FREE and got 8 phone calls in one hour, and now it's gone! Somebody came and picked it up just a few hours after I posted the ad! Awesome.

So long fella. You've been a good place to sit for the past 5 years or so. Thanks for that.

So perhaps you (my dedicated readers) are wondering why we got rid of such a wonderful sofa. Well, it's because we moved. Did I forget to mention that?! Hee-hee. Well we moved in with my Grandma to help take care of her, and we didn't want to move the sofa because 1) it's really heavy, 2) there's no room for it in her basement, and 3) we'll just buy a better, more comfortable one the next time we move!

So there you have it. Online classifieds are the best. We had better results with KSL than we did with Craigslist, but it doesn't really matter because the couch is gone! Three cheers for a job well done!

Grateful

I've been feeling extra grateful for our little Sara recently.

Three weeks ago, two of my uncles were irrigating a canal that runs through their property, their father's old farm up in Idaho. While they were irrigating, they saw something in the water, and to their horror, they pulled out an 18-month-old little girl who had fallen into the canal one and a half miles upstream. One week later, after fighting for her life long enough for her parents and family to say their goodbyes, that little girl left this life and returned to her Father in Heaven.

I never met little Preslee, but she was only 10 days older than our own little girl. That fact alone kept hitting me close to home; that this little girl was the same age as Sara. Just a baby. It made me put myself in their situation and think, "What if that were Sara? What if that happened to us?" Can you imagine leaving your baby with a sitter or family member to go out for a few hours, not knowing you are about to receive the phone call no parent ever wants to receive? A phone call saying the worst has happened? I just can't help but think how hard it must be to lose a child. And perhaps even harder, to lose your only child (like they did, and like we would if anything ever happened to Sara) and to go back to being.....just you. No longer a mom and a dad. No longer the parents of your own perfect little creation. I just can't imagine. Don't want to imagine.

I have been thinking about this a lot over the past three weeks. Every time I get frustrated with Sara and start to lose my cool, I think of how hard it would be to lose her. I think of how much worse it would be if she were to suddenly be gone. I think of how distraught I would feel if I didn't get to see her smiling face every day, or if I never got to hear her sing "E-I-E-I-O" again, or if the hug and kiss she gave me before going to bed tonight was the last one I'll ever get. Thinking about going through what Preslee's family is going through makes even the frustrating 'toddler throwing a tantrum' moments seem like the most important moments of my life. Moments I never want to lose or forget. Moments I don't want to ruin by raising my voice, when really all she probably needs is more attention from her mommy.

I've realized that every moment I spend with my little girl really is the most important moment of my life. I've realized that food thrown on the floor and embarrassing temper tantrums in public and a toddler who nearly refuses to take a nap do not equal the end of the world. Those moments are only part of the package. The rest of the deal includes a little girl whose face lights up when you walk into her room in the morning. A little girl who cracks you up every time she "talks" to you in unintelligible babbles, and then gives you a cheesy grin and looks at you as if you should be laughing along with the hilarious joke she just told. A little girl who would rather sit on your lap and sing "Itsy-bitsy Spider" with you than almost anything else in the world. Those moments make the frustrating moments worth it.

I love my little girl so much. I am so grateful to get to spend each and every day with her. I want to live in each moment and never forget what a blessing Sara is in our lives. I am making an effort to make each moment count, because you never know when those moments might be gone.

I love you Sara.

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You can read more about Preslee and all the lives she touched during the last week of her life right here on her parent's blog.